Navigating the idea of family pets often brings a common dilemma for parents. How do you manage your child’s promises of responsibility beyond the enthusiastic, “I promise I will feed them and scoop their poop!”? Enthusiasm usually fades quickly, much like those New Year resolutions. After a week or two, the excitement often dwindles.
In my case, my 6-year-old daughter longed for a cat. Our beloved dog, at 16 years old, was no longer the playful companion she yearned for, often choosing to snooze in her crate during the day. My daughter needed a pet she could actively engage with.
Thus, we ventured to a no-kill shelter in search of a cat to welcome into our family. Ella, the first cat my daughter noticed, immediately drew her in. After a thorough application process and a phone interview to ensure a perfect match, we were excited when they suggested Ella, noting that she got along well with dogs. We brought her into our home, ready for adventure.
But soon enough, my daughter’s commitments to care for Ella took a backseat to her other interests, like reading and watching TV. Sometimes she simply resisted helping out, despite gentle nudges to honor her initial promises. This scenario is more common than many parents realize.
So, how do parents encourage their children to engage in the responsibilities that come with a pet? Experts offer practical strategies that involve the whole family and help lighten the load for parents.
Establish Clear Family Pet Roles
A great way to initiate responsibility is by holding a family meeting focused on who takes care of what in your pet’s care routine. If you’ve already discussed this, revisiting the conversation can be beneficial. Children sometimes need reminders.
Depending on their ages and the species of the pet, you might work through various questions to clarify roles, such as:
- Who will fill the food and water dish?
- Who will walk the dog?
- Who will cuddle the pet?
- Who will clean up their toys?
- Who will comb the pet?
- Who will teach tricks?
- Who will wash the food bowls?
- Who will scoop the poop?
“I find that kids are more likely to take ownership of their pet chores if they get a say in choosing which chores they want to do,” advises Michele Borba, EdD, a parenting expert and author. “Children have varied interests; some love petting the dog, while others might dislike it.”
Allowing them to pick something they enjoy will likely lead to greater participation.
Implementing Responsibilities
Once you’ve established appropriate rules, ensuring everyone fulfills their roles is crucial. Here are some expert insights on how to achieve this.
Explain the Importance of Caretaking
According to Elysia Ostrander, a family dog trainer and mom, it’s vital to explain to children that “having a pet involves certain obligations, even if we don’t always want to fulfill them, because it shows respect for their well-being.”
If we don’t clean the litter box, pets may choose to go in an inappropriate place because of the dirty environment. By framing it this way, you can encourage your child to think about their own preferences. “You could ask, ‘Would you like to go to the bathroom in a space that has been used multiple times?’”, she suggests.
Relating your pet’s needs to your child’s own experiences helps them understand that animals deserve respect and care, just like they do. I recently tried this approach with my daughter, who is naturally empathetic, and it worked wonderfully.
Provide Guidance
Dr. Borba recommends a structured method to teach children their responsibilities effectively.
“Start by demonstrating a task, then work alongside your child, and finally let them try it under your supervision,” she advises. This ensures their understanding and capability for each chore.
Reflecting on my approach, I wish we had implemented this from the start. Instead of hovering, we should have encouraged her independence sooner. Thankfully, she now takes pride in completing chores solo.
Consider a Chore Chart
If additional support is needed, chore charts can be a practical tool for kids.
“One successful chore chart I’ve encountered featured photos of the child completing each task,” explains Borba.
These don’t have to be complex; you can use a simple paper plate to write out chores and allow family members to rotate through them using a spinning arrow. This adds a fun twist while ensuring every activity is balanced.
Connect Chores to Fun Activities
Ostrander acknowledges that motivating kids to complete pet chores daily can be challenging. One effective tactic in her house is associating chores with exciting activities they’re looking forward to.
For instance, she might say, “Finish the pet tasks before heading to your friend’s house. Clean the litter box first.” This approach makes obligations feel less daunting and encourages productivity.
I’ve seen firsthand how this strategy has worked for our daughter when she completes chores to earn video game time with Dad.
Utilize Sticker Charts
Sticker charts can also be an effective incentive. At the week’s end, you can say, “Now that you’ve completed your chores without reminders, you can put a sticker on your chart.” This visual representation of accomplishment can be motivating as they strive toward a special reward.
Consider linking these stickers to small rewards, such as extra one-on-one time with a parent or selecting a family movie for the evening.
Make It Fun
For some children, turning chores into a playful competition can provide motivation.
“I love to gamify chores to make them enjoyable,” says Ostrander. For instance, during feeding time, instead of using a bowl, we might play a game where we toss kibble and let the puppy fetch it. This excitement appeals to kids and keeps them engaged.
You can also turn poop-scooping into a timed contest to see who can pick up the most piles in a limited time. Or race each other to finish chores first, perhaps with a small prize awarded to the winner.
Recognize Their Efforts
Immediate positive reinforcement is crucial in encouraging continued participation in pet care.
“Highlighting the excitement your pet feels when they see your child caring for them reinforces the positive experience,” emphasizes Dr. Borba. “Saying something like, ‘Look how happy the dog is that you did that!’ makes a noticeable impact.”
