My father was born on a plantation in Mississippi, long after the Emancipation Proclamation claimed to end slavery but during a time when its shadow still loomed large. Yet, the heart of this story isn’t just about his origins. It lies with my grandmother—his mother—a courageous woman who, in the stillness of night, packed her children and fled the oppressive grasp of the Jim Crow South. She did this with a fierce simplicity: She refused to prioritize the plantation owner’s children over her own.
Today, as I navigate motherhood with my two daughters, ages one and three, I carry the weight of my grandmother’s audacious choice deep within me. Her escape wasn’t merely a physical relocation but a bold declaration of her family’s freedom, echoing a powerful sentiment: *We belong to ourselves, and we always have.
As a new mom and a dietitian dedicated to nourishing mothers and mothers-to-be, I often reflect on how these enduring pressures have evolved. The systems that many of us, including myself, navigate today still demand relentless giving—from our time, our energy, and our very selves—not just to our families, but also to the unyielding demands of workplaces and societal expectations. Far too often, this comes without adequate healthcare, paid time off, or access to affordable childcare.
The financial strain of raising children today is a heavy burden—a burden that, while different from my grandmother’s, still resonates with that age-old expectation that mothers should give everything, no matter the cost. Even though I understand nourishment intimately, I often find myself trapped in a cycle of exhaustion, working from an empty cup, and stretching myself thinner than I can sustain. I wrestle with the question: How can I teach others about nourishment when my own well-being feels like an afterthought? Especially when essentials like medical care and mental health support—resources my grandmother could have only dreamed about—seem increasingly precarious.
In moments of self-doubt and struggle, preserving my own well-being starts to feel less like a personal act of care and more like a quiet rebellion against an oppressive status quo. Though we aren’t picking cotton anymore, the pressure to be productive, to push through without pause, persists. We may receive paychecks now, but the underlying message remains unchanged: Take on more work, put on a brave face, and assure everyone you’re “just fine,” even when you’re crumbling inside. It’s as if rest is a luxury to be earned, something to feel guilty about if it interrupts our productivity.
Recently, I’ve been returning to this vivid image of my grandmother on that fateful night—resolute and determined, declaring that enough was enough. She chose to leave behind a life where her labor was expected but never appreciated. The lesson she imparted, which I carry into my own journey as a mother, is that true freedom lies in allowing oneself to be whole and nourished, to take a break from the relentless demands without shame. It’s about showing up fully for those we love by ensuring we are taken care of first.
Juneteenth is a poignant reminder that I owe it to my daughters to share these truths—to teach them that every moment I choose to pause, to nurture myself, or to cultivate joy in our home, I am dismantling a legacy they were never intended to inherit. I want them to realize that freedom means being able to rest without guilt, to say “no” without fear, and to embrace motherhood without losing sight of who they are amid others’ demands. Nourishment transcends food; it’s about having enough of yourself left to truly savor life. That kind of rest and joy was so often denied to those who came before us, which is precisely why it must be fiercely protected today.
In a culture that extols resilience yet penalizes rest, I yearn for something different—for myself and for the daughters I am raising. On Juneteenth and every day, I want them to understand that their worth doesn’t hinge on overextending themselves or suppressing their own needs. Their wholeness, joy, and need for rest are paramount right now—not just after they’ve accomplished everything else.
Julianka Bell, MS, RD, is a registered dietitian and the founder of MotherKin, a women’s health nutrition practice devoted to supporting individuals through fertility, pregnancy, postpartum, and beyond. Her insights have been featured in reputable publications including Real Simple, Good Housekeeping, Yahoo, and others.
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