At any given moment, my mind is a whirlwind of thoughts: doctor and dentist appointments, parent-teacher conferences, and a constant stream of reminders. Did the kids take their vitamins today? They need new shoes, but wait, I forgot to switch the laundry over. And oh boy, I really need to squeeze in a shower before the day’s out.
As the primary caregiver in our household, and a mom of young kids who rely on me for nearly everything, I often find myself rushing from one task to the next. The moment I finally sit down to catch my breath, someone, usually a little one, needs something or wants to share their latest adventure. It’s a never-ending cycle of playing catch-up. Even as I write this, I’ve had to spring up three times: once to help with a diaper, again to wipe away Cheeto dust from tiny hands, and yet another time to investigate the mystery of my cat causing a ruckus in the next room.
By the time night falls, it all becomes a blur. Each day blends into the next, and with it comes the overwhelming exhaustion. As I collapse into bed, guilt begins to creep in. Did I spend enough time playing with my kids? When was the last time I read them a bedtime story? The thought weighs heavily: How on earth can I slow down?
I am utterly drained yet still unable to quiet the incessant chatter in my mind as soon as my head hits the pillow. I’m truly still in the thick of it. The mental load hasn’t magically disappeared; I still forget appointments and end up reheating my coffee multiple times before I finally finish it. However, I’ve come to a realization: something has to change. I’m too burnt out to keep pushing myself this way.
So, like any mom who feels overwhelmed, I turned to Google for help. I started to experiment, and, little by little, I found ways to slow down, quiet the chaos, and lessen that ever-present mom guilt.
If you’ve ever found yourself wide awake at night, wishing for some sleep while the weight of your responsibilities keeps your eyes open, perhaps you’ll find a gem of wisdom or a relatable hack within these words. After all, us overstimulated and under-rested moms need to support one another.
The dishes can wait. I know it sounds cliché, but it’s true. For some, the idea of relaxing while their home isn’t spotless feels impossible. It used to make me feel like a failure. But then I shifted my perspective. Is my home safe and welcoming for my kids? Absolutely. A few dirty dishes or a mountain of laundry don’t change the fact that my children are happy, secure, loved, and thriving — isn’t that what truly matters?
I learned from therapist and author KC Davis, who has since become a friend, the powerful mantra: “Rest is productive.” For so long, I viewed rest as a reward for finishing all my tasks. I believed I didn’t deserve a break until every chore was ticked off my list.
Now, I embrace the idea that rest is just as valuable as completing chores. I allow myself to leave the dishes in the sink while I snuggle up on the couch to watch a movie with my kids. And you know what? The more I let myself unwind, the less frantic my mind becomes. In return, I can enjoy those precious moments with my kids. I feel more rejuvenated and focused when I return to my tasks.
Sometimes you just have to “go touch some grass.” I love seeing this phrase make its rounds on social media, often as a cheeky reminder to disconnect from our screens and reconnect with the world. I take that advice literally. When the weather permits, I step outside, wiggle my toes in the grass, and immerse myself in my surroundings. I take deep breaths and soak in the beauty around me.
There was a neighbor I had, Dawn, who had a bit of a hippie spirit. She called this practice “grounding.” Before you dismiss it as a trend or something silly, let me tell you: it works. Remember the carefree feeling of childhood when you could lie back and gaze at clouds, daydreaming their shapes? This adult version involves sitting in the grass with my daughter, memorizing every detail of her adorable face as sunlight dances on her skin. I catch the shimmer in her eyes and the soft peach fuzz on her cheeks, and gratitude washes over me.
When you intentionally slow down and engage with your surroundings, it becomes a magical experience. It forces you to be truly present. This practice has shifted my perspective, allowing me to uncover beauty in the little things.
We are imperfect people raising imperfect people. This realization has been my guiding light throughout this journey. Acknowledging that I will never do everything perfectly is actually liberating. While it may sound disheartening, it’s profoundly true: I am human. I have my flaws, I make mistakes, and yes, I sometimes lose my temper or say things I wish I could take back. But that’s part of life, and I’m learning to accept it (thank you, therapy!).
What matters most is how I choose to respond. How can I teach my kids to be kind, empathetic people? When I slip up, I focus on the importance of apologizing and learning from my mistakes. When I feel overwhelmed, I aim to show them how to manage their emotions in healthy ways. Life will always have its bumps, but I can guide them on how to navigate the chaos with compassion and understanding. That, at the end of the day, is what matters most.
I’m Emily Feret, a content creator living just outside Chicago with my husband and our two little ones. I strive to share my authentic, filter-free parenting journey online. Whether it’s embracing the messy chaos of family life or celebrating the beautiful imperfections we all have, I find value in the ordinary moments. My work has been featured in notable publications like The New York Times, Parents, and PopSugar. You can find me sharing snippets of this wild ride on TikTok @Emilyjeanne333, Instagram @emilyjeanneferet, and YouTube @emilyjeanne333.
Image Source: Unsplash
