Nedra Glover Tawwab is well-regarded for her expertise in helping individuals navigate their emotional landscapes. As a licensed therapist and social worker, she has made strides in transforming discussions around effective relationship dynamics and the significance of self-care.
Her 2021 publication, Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself, positions boundaries as vital tools for maintaining personal integrity and emotional health. Tawwab brings profound insights into the struggles individuals often face—namely, balancing the care for others while also prioritizing their own needs and disentangling unhealthy relationship patterns.
In a new avenue of outreach, Tawwab is focused on imparting these crucial lessons to children through her upcoming book, What Makes You Happy?, slated for release in September 2025. This engaging book employs heartfelt storytelling paired with colorful illustrations to guide both children and their adult readers toward a richer understanding of self-expression, emotional balance, personal happiness, and the importance of acknowledging one’s emotions.
During festive times, it’s common for kids to be encouraged to appreciate whatever gifts they receive. While fostering gratitude is essential, Tawwab emphasizes that the holidays also serve as an opportune moment for children to assert their needs, especially concerning gift preferences.
“Ideally, children, with their parents’ support, should feel empowered to articulate their wants and likes,” Tawwab explains. “Even if not every request is honored, this process helps children recognize the value in expressing their needs, which is a critical skill for their development.”
This practice lays a strong foundation for kids in other aspects of their lives, such as setting healthy boundaries and communicating effectively with peers and adults. Tawwab elaborates on this in her discussions.
As a mother and licensed therapist, what challenges have you observed in children navigating relationships?
Children often face significant hurdles in advocating for themselves, particularly in their social circles. Many friendships feature a dynamic of leaders and followers, leaving some kids susceptible to peer pressure. While it’s vital to help children clarify what they want, equipping them with the skills to communicate those needs effectively is equally important. This requires practice—whether learning to soften their requests or articulating tougher subjects.
One central theme in What Makes You Happy? addresses the tension between people-pleasing and expressing personal needs. Why is it critical to teach children the importance of accommodating others while also knowing when to set boundaries?
Children need diverse examples and contexts to navigate when to negotiate and when to assert themselves. Phrases like “Always stand up for yourself” might miss the mark as they overlook the necessity of considering others’ needs. Healthy relationships hinge on finding a balance between one’s requirements and those of others. In What Makes You Happy?, children explore the nuances of self-advocacy while organizing a celebration, thereby learning about this essential balance.
The book discusses decision-making, especially when personal joy clashes with the happiness of others. How can children learn to balance kindness towards others with self-kindness?
It is vital for children to recognize that some moments should center on them, while others focus on broader group enjoyment. In What Makes You Happy?, the character Avery plans her birthday party—an event that can lead to decision fatigue if children overly concern themselves with pleasing everyone. A birthday should allow them to create a personalized experience. Open conversations about prioritizing their needs in the context of various activities, like navigating birthdays around holidays, are essential.
What does healthy communication with adults in a child’s extended family look like?
In the past, children expressing their thoughts to adults may have been misinterpreted as disrespectful. It’s crucial for kids to differentiate between assertive and aggressive communication. Learning the art of self-expression is essential alongside mustering the courage to voice their thoughts.
What key advice would you offer to assist young children in articulating their own needs and desires?
Encourage them to speak up. When a child continually ponders or discusses a particular issue, it serves as an optimal opportunity to guide them in expressing what they are feeling. Help them brainstorm solutions, consider the best possible outcomes, and set realistic expectations.
