Maintaining friendships after becoming a parent can feel overwhelmingly chaotic. Time is a precious commodity, everyone is racing against the clock, and that pressure can be intense. Recently, I asked my mom—who effortlessly balanced friendships in the ’90s—how she navigated it all. Her answer was refreshingly simple: “We just did.” She and her friends managed to get together without the elaborate planning we often impose on ourselves.
This brings me to a key insight: their gatherings were easygoing and often came with minimal expense.
For my mom, opportunity prevailed. Weekends weren’t guaranteed for socializing, and no one could count on a babysitter every Friday night. However, everyone has to do laundry or sit down for a TV episode at some point. We can all carve out time on a lazy Sunday afternoon for a board game.
That’s how you fit in quality friend time amid the whirlwind of family life.
First off, get comfortable with friends coming to your home. It need not be spotless; perfection isn’t the goal. Second, let go of the all-or-nothing mindset. Inviting your favorite friends over doesn’t mean you must set a fancy table or prepare a lavish meal. Casual chats don’t require a busy restaurant or overpriced coffee.
Sometimes, you just need to spend time with your people. Whether you have limited energy or are looking for affordable ways to hang out, there’s a multitude of options right at your fingertips.
Meal Prep Gathering
This one can even be free if you were prepared to meal prep already. A great idea from my sister: gather your friends to shop together or chip in, then work on meal prepping as a team. You can exchange favorite recipes, assist each other with tasks (I’ll chop your veggies if you’ll handle the chicken), and chat the entire time. By day’s end, you will have tackled a big chore that benefits everyone and enjoyed meaningful moments with friends.
Collaborate on House Projects
Inspired by the meal prep gathering, another rewarding way to spend time together is by tackling household tasks. Whether it’s reorganizing a pantry, catching up on laundry, or prepping for a birthday bash, everything feels lighter with a buddy. You can each choose a project at your homes and spend the day supporting each other, making the tasks enjoyable. Don’t forget to order pizza to enjoy while you work.
Errand Adventures
I miss the simplicity of running errands with friends as a teen. If I went to the grocery store, my best friend tagged along. If she needed a gift for her dad, I went with her. Recapturing that spirit is easy. During your next errand day, invite a friend. Let her drive her own car to eliminate time pressures, and suddenly grocery shopping becomes a joyful outing instead of a chore.
Make Downtime a Group Experience
Coffee & Board Games
You don’t need to fuss over themed game nights with elaborate snacks and décor. Just brew some coffee, set out the Scrabble board, and enjoy each other’s company. It’s low-pressure, and conversation flows easily, even if some time is spent on the game. (Puzzles make for another laid-back option.)
Watch a Series Finale Together
While committing to weekly TV dates can be challenging, it can be delightful to gather for season finales or special episodes if you and your friends follow the same series—think Dancing with the Stars or Love is Blind. With streaming options, you can watch when convenient, needing just some snacks and a cozy couch.
Bring Your Own Projects
Consider getting together to work on personal projects—whether it’s embroidery, organizing photos, or starting a new hobby like watercolor painting. Whatever you choose, enjoy the process while sitting alongside your best friend.
Be Each Other’s Reason to Get Out
Three Words: Hot Mom Walks
Some of my most engaging conversations with friends took place during walks. Meet in the morning for coffee, in the afternoon with sleepy toddlers in tow, or after dinner to unwind.
YouTube Workout Sessions
Gym prices can be steep, and coordinating schedules is tough. Instead, consider joining forces for YouTube workouts. You can meet at a mutually convenient time and work out at home with no pressure, chatting away in between your sets.
Co-Working at a Coffee Shop
If you and a friend work from home, why not plan regular coffee shop sessions? Not only does it make working more enjoyable, but it provides a comforting presence without requiring constant interaction. Plus, since you’re working, it won’t cut into your day.
Ultimately, maintaining friendships may not be as complicated as we imagine. Even if it takes some extra planning, the reward is always worth it. Remember: your kids benefit from seeing that friendships remain strong, even when we step into motherhood.
