This week, glancing at my family’s calendar has been nothing short of a daunting experience. With evening commitments slated for every night, I can’t help but feel overwhelmed. As we inch closer to Thanksgiving and Christmas, the calendar promises to become even more chaotic. The holiday season hasn’t even fully arrived, and I already find myself yearning for a moment of peace and relaxation.
It seems I’m not the only one. Many families face similar stress during this busy month. One mother, Hilary, who goes by the handle @momlooksandgoodbooks on Instagram, has bravely decided to take a stand. She’s introduced a concept called “No-vember,” a month dedicated to declining social obligations.
Hilary elaborates on this concept through a series of informative slides, addressing common questions and detailing precisely how their family navigates a month with no external commitments.
Understanding No-vember
The essence of No-vember is simple: for the entire month, Hilary’s family declines invitations that fall outside their immediate family circle. “We felt overwhelmed by the excess of commitments stemming from extracurricular activities, playdates, and adult outings,” she shares. “November is the ideal month for us since soccer season wraps up, providing a chance to regroup before the holiday rush begins.”
She emphasizes that this commitment means genuinely saying “no” to anything that requires energy outside their personal sphere.
The Benefits of Declining Invites
So what’s the outcome of this unique family ritual? A rejuvenation period for everyone involved. “Our children, and we as parents, gain precious time to unwind,” she elaborates. “Most of our family disputes arise from the urgency of needing to be somewhere. By spending our evenings simply being together, we discover activities to engage in as a family and cultivate quality time.”
Now in their third year of practicing No-vember, Hilary notes that any feelings of missing out have diminished significantly, although there may be an initial sting. Her partner and children embrace this approach, and the family has not encountered any resistance from friends. Interestingly, some friends have even opted to join the No-vember movement.
Exceptions to the Rule
Like any good plan, No-vember does come with a few exceptions: Thanksgiving gatherings are naturally regarded as social. Additionally, Hilary carves out one evening for her book club, allowing her to maintain a social connection while still prioritizing family time.
While various trends promoting boundaries and breaks have emerged in the past, this particular iteration of No-vember—focused on declining outings as a family—seems refreshingly novel. It offers a much-needed reminder to prioritize family bonds amid the hustle and bustle of the season. Even trying it out for a brief period, such as a weekend, might offer a taste of its potential benefits.
