I was the quintessential Type A parent when it came to traveling with my family. As the days leading up to our big trip ticked away, I found myself in the kitchen, whipping up frittatas that could survive our flight without refrigeration. My packing strategy involved meticulously curated travel packs for my kids, filled with individually wrapped surprises designed to stave off boredom. Of course, I had my itinerary ready—down to the minute. And don’t get me started on how I insisted the cab take us to the airport four hours early.
However, amidst all the planning and preparation, there was one crucial element I overlooked: the emotional wriggle room that’s so vital for both parents and kids, especially on family vacations. I didn’t just need room to breathe physically; I needed flexibility in my approach to parenting.
As I embarked on our first family trip abroad, I realized I probably needed to adopt a Type C mentality.
While we have heard countless labels for parenting styles—koala moms, helicopter parents, and free-range caregivers—Type C is a relatively new addition to our parenting lexicon. It’s that elusive sweet spot that blends structure with spontaneity, offering an often-needed balance, particularly when on vacation.
Type A parents thrive on structure and routine, while Type B parents embrace a more laid-back, freewheeling, and sometimes messy approach. Type C parents tread the line between these two styles. The term has gained popularity through social media influencers like Ashleigh Surratt, who showcases the beauty of allowing your children some independence amid life’s chaos. Surratt’s approach has resonated with many, evidenced by a recent Skylight survey revealing that 35% of parents lean toward Type C tactics, prioritizing flexibility over rigidity.
On our month-long family adventure, I unintentionally stumbled upon this relaxed parenting strategy—but not without some eye-opening moments along the way.
The cracks in my Type A armor began to show during our flight. Midway across the Atlantic, I glanced over at my four-year-old son, who was cozily nestled in his seat with headphones on, laughing at a tablet—something we rarely allowed him to use. In between his bouts of giggling and my 18-month-old daughter climbing over us for a peek out the window, I realized that perhaps my extensive preparation was more than what we really needed. Sure, I had packed a veritable treasure chest of distractions—coloring sheets, stickers, Lego, and carefully selected snacks—only to find that much of it remained untouched. The “lucky dips” were good for fleeting moments of entertainment, and the fancy frittatas were eaten once before being squished back into their bag.
This was a pivotal moment for me. While being prepared is always nice, I realized that stressing over every little detail could ruin the magic of the trip.
As we continued our vacation, more Type C principles crept into my parenting. A few nights in, despite our efforts to get the kids to sleep early to combat their jet lag, they woke up at 4 a.m., ready to start the day. My initial instinct was to coax them back to sleep, but they had other ideas—curious questions about breakfast filled the room.
In this moment, I opted for Type C parenting. I reached for the local chips I had bought the night before and transformed the early morning into a fun, cozy adventure—a “chip party” while we discussed our day ahead.
Another situation tested my growth when rain dashed our plans for a beach stroll with friends we hadn’t seen in years. That frenetic Type A energy bubbled up in me as I faced a toddler tantrum, clothes scattered everywhere, and a fridge devoid of snacks. In that moment, I could have let the disappointment take hold, but instead, we pivoted. We invited our friends to us, hit the local shop for snacks, and shifted the focus from our original plans to simply being together. The laundry was tossed aside, the kids joined us late into the evening on the couch, cuddled up and immersed in our conversations.
It felt freeing.
By the end of our trip, I came to appreciate how my preparations set the stage for our adventure. Yet, I also learned the importance of letting go of the rigid structure from time to time. I realized that traveling with kids is about more than just being ready; it also requires a gentle dose of flexibility. The essence of Type C parenting is that it’s perfectly acceptable to embrace the unexpected and let the journey unfold organically.
So, if you’re a fellow planner or a free spirit, you may find Type C parenting liberating once you give it a try. Yes, having a loose schedule is helpful, but remember, there’s always ample time for structure back at home. While planning is essential, don’t let it become a straitjacket during your vacation. Sometimes, it’s the unexpected moments that create the richest experiences, reminding us that if our kids are warm, happy, and cared for, we’ve done more than enough. Everything else is just a bonus.
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